Thank you, Jesus, for sending Dutch cycling experts to Miami!

Discussion:

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His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-02 03:45:38 UTC

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Whether you believe or not, MY "PRAYERS" HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. Or maybe
it was my noise, but whatever the reason, why waste time when the
Dutch figured it out a long time ago? "When the mountain doesn't come
to you," said the prophet, "you go to the mountain." Peace on Earth
and Hallelujah!

The Dutch government is sending three of that cycling- crazy country’s
top bicycle experts to help transform Miami’s car-choked downtown into
bike-friendly territory.

Beware. The Dutch are coming, and they’re armed with a radical idea
about the future of transportation that could cure obesity and global
warming, stall traffic congestion, and maybe shake the very steering
wheel from your hands:

Bicycles.

Scoff if you must, but their arrival signals that Miami is getting
more serious about making room for cyclists.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/05/01/2196030/dutch-experts-bringing-bicycle.html

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http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-02 11:09:35 UTC

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Welcoming sign to Dutch experts: "Welcome to the Jungle"
The political jungle here encourages WASTE and hears absolutely NO
FEEDBACK from people. They are capable of dumping a million bucks on a
bike facility (mixed path by the beach from 65 to 79 ST) NOT CONNECTED
to anything (or connected with a crappy carpet), dumping money on
security, landscaping and some fancy turtle sculptures, then ignore
all SAFETY ISSUES, such as mixing pedestrians, dogs and bicycles, and
overloading the facility with BLINDING LIGHTS that make riding at
night a harrowing experience. But somehow the Dutch experts will
design proper paths to come out of the jungle.

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-02 12:53:44 UTC

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(LETTER ADDRESSED TO THE DUTCH EMBASSY)

Thank you for your collaboration. Riding a bike in Miami is perhaps no
safer than in Afghanistan, and I've been subject to savage attacks.
Your experts have a tough job, but it's a battle worth fighting. I
propose actually a Dutch Package --Dutch liberal democracy-- for
America... Wishful thinking? No more than taming Miami traffic. Please
see website link below...

(WE HAVE AN OVERWHELMING PRESENCE IN THE INTERNET, SO THE WORLD IS
BEHIND US --OR SO WE HOPE)

Welcoming sign to Dutch experts: "Welcome to the Jungle"
The political jungle here encourages WASTE and hears absolutely NO
FEEDBACK from people. They are capable of dumping a million bucks on a
bike facility (mixed path by the beach from 65 to 79 ST) NOT CONNECTED
to anything (or connected with a crappy carpet), dumping money on
security, landscaping and some fancy turtle sculptures, then ignore
all SAFETY ISSUES, such as mixing pedestrians, dogs and bicycles, and
overloading the facility with BLINDING LIGHTS that make riding at
night a harrowing experience. But somehow the Dutch experts will
design proper paths to come out of the jungle.

http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION

"WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE"

http://webspawner.com/users/donquijote

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-07 19:02:41 UTC

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Posted at the site of the organization sending the experts. Whatever I
say about Holland being flooded by sea rise applies to Miami Beach:

"For the overwhelming majority of us --mundane monkeys-- it remains a
dangerous game of survival to ride a bike. Ironically it is us who are
willing to do something to avoid sea rise, which will make beautiful
places like Holland disappear under water.

We do need lots of help!"

http://acwestmount.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/bicycle-council-of-holland-fietsberaard/#comment-59

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-07 20:09:02 UTC

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Sorry, that wasn't the mother organization but some Canadian branch.
Canadians have done a lot in Montreal, at least.

This is the main Dutch organization:

http://www.fietsberaad.nl/index.cfm?lang=en

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-12 18:00:22 UTC

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Guys, I wished I could be more cheerful with the coming the Dutch but
recent events seem rather depressing...

1- The bike trap (chain) that damaged my bike and almost make me fall
is still there! (Washington Ave entrance to the South Pointe Park).

2- The lights are on in broad daylight (1pm) at the MIXED PATH north
of 71 ST and are still blinding.

I guess you need some democracy to make things work.

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-16 00:52:00 UTC

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A couple of things we may suggest to the Dutch experts (since we can
spot the problems as well):

1- In Amsterdam and Copenhagen... "speed limits within these cities
are on the order of 30 km/hr or 19 mph."

2- "The vast majority of bicyclists in the US have no real
possibilities of cycling in environments like those of Portland or
Davis."

3- "Most state and local DOT officials have little interest in making
communities safe for bicyclists."

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0870714198/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

We tried the bridge from Aventura to Collins and found out that
neither pedestrians nor cyclists have minimal protection from highway
speeds. Ramps at sidewalks are missing, and you wonder if there's
another kinder gentler bridge over the canal. In fact, when you get to
the top of the bridge and you see the water below... you feel like
ending the suffering. Just kidding, just 30 minutes later we were
swimming at the beach. Remember, LIFE CAN BE A BEACH!

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-16 13:11:05 UTC

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[...]

Post by His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher
We tried the bridge from Aventura to Collins and found out that
neither pedestrians nor cyclists have minimal protection from highway
speeds. Ramps at sidewalks are missing, and you wonder if there's
another kinder gentler bridge over the canal. In fact, when you get to
the top of the bridge and you see the water below... you feel like
ending the suffering. Just kidding, just 30 minutes later we were
swimming at the beach. Remember, LIFE CAN BE A BEACH!

Why the hell are you trying to cycle in Miami Beach? That area is for
walking. If you want to cycle, find an area appropriate for it ... like god
damn fucking Minnesota for instance! We have got a frost warning for this
morning and I am freezing my ass off.

You are wrong about that. You better kick ass here or they will kick
yours!

There's some walking in certain spots but it doesn't get you as far or
as COOL as a bike. The cooling factor of a bike makes it far more
pleasant.

Life is NEVER a beach you confounded moron! Life is in earnest and we are
all going to Hell! When we are all there, I will delight in kicking your
dumb ass for all eternity ... and Tom Sherman's dumb ass too!

No way, we can't possibly go to the same Hell as SUV owners! Imagine
we could face our torturers... ;)

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-22 19:11:04 UTC

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May I describe here the Intermediate Course from North to South Beach?

Sure, why not?

Here we go:

Just as you pass the Rowing Club, negotiating a very narrow sidewalk
(lucky if you don't find pedestrians that may curse you), crowded by
signposts and being careful not to hit the bump (stupid design) at the
light to cross 65 ST, you find a sign that says "no bicycles," which
you assume applies to the park, but you ignore anyway. Then you find
the first real test of endurance, not because it's long but because IT
TESTS YOUR PATIENCE! (BE READY TO SPEND 5 MINUTES THERE!) As you must
cross Alton Rd, you have to wait for one green light to get to the
middle island THEN wait for the other light to get to the other side
where you must go over the little bridge and down to the second real
test --the SURVIVAL TEST-- where cars are turning left into you, and
you have no visibility whatsoever over them. PRAY AT THIS POINT! Then
it gets kind of easy, the GARBAGE TANK obstacle right on the middle of
the sidewalk --that you kick around and comes back-- the broken
sidewalk to test your shocks, the people walking dogs looking at you
funny --they don't see people that often-- and the barking dogs that
are usually small. BEWARE OF CARS COMING OUT OF DRIVEWAYS! Then you
get to the Miami Heart Institute where you can have your pulse taken
and... everything goes downhill from there, I mean ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
all the way to South Beach!

Miles Bader

2011-05-23 04:08:20 UTC

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"His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"

Post by His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

You are wrong about that. You better kick ass here or they will kick
yours!
There's some walking in certain spots but it doesn't get you as far or
as COOL as a bike. The cooling factor of a bike makes it far more
pleasant.

Wait, why is there a conflict here...? There can be pedestrians _and_
bicyclists, and given the spread-out nature of Miami, surely there's a
place for bicycles. Every picture I see of the place make it look too
hot and barren for pleasant walking, though, so breezing through on a
bike sounds a lot better...

The story comments on the "excessively wide" miami streets; maybe if
the designers are in a good mood, they could even widen the sidewalks
at the same time they put in bike lanes. Make it a more human place.
If they plant some trees in the sidewalks, wow!

-Miles

--
Is it true that nothing can be known? If so how do we know this? -Woody Allen

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-23 12:39:07 UTC

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Post by Miles Bader
"His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"

Post by His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

You are wrong about that. You better kick ass here or they will kick
yours!
There's some walking in certain spots but it doesn't get you as far or
as COOL as a bike. The cooling factor of a bike makes it far more
pleasant.

Wait, why is there a conflict here...? There can be pedestrians _and_
bicyclists, and given the spread-out nature of Miami, surely there's a
place for bicycles. Every picture I see of the place make it look too
hot and barren for pleasant walking, though, so breezing through on a
bike sounds a lot better...
The story comments on the "excessively wide" miami streets; maybe if
the designers are in a good mood, they could even widen the sidewalks
at the same time they put in bike lanes. Make it a more human place.
If they plant some trees in the sidewalks, wow!

I think the magic word to make things happen is POLITICAL WILL. It is
said where there's a will, there's a way. Bicycling is the perfect
vehicle for the summer heat as well our spread out design. Sidewalks
could be widened in some places but still leave us in conflict at
intersections. We either need basic bike lanes along major streets or
just give us the opportunity to TAKE THE LANE and have the cars go
around on the other lanes. That's fairly easy to do if you do if you
go fast enough on a road bike --they are a different kind of animal--
otherwise we need to slow down traffic on the right lane, which is
where the conflict exists.

We can not keep these dumb, grinding conditions forever, right?

You must have seen this video, right? Hopefully the dead cyclist
caught on camera will be the catalyst for change:

http://miami.cbslocal.com/2011/05/20/hollywood-police-seek-fatal-hit-run-driver-caught-on-camera/#comment-44251

The need for cameras --red light cameras, speed cameras, live
cameras-- is clearly evident.

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

2011-05-24 13:27:18 UTC

Permalink

Post by Miles Bader
"His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"

Post by His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

You are wrong about that. You better kick ass here or they will kick
yours!
There's some walking in certain spots but it doesn't get you as far or
as COOL as a bike. The cooling factor of a bike makes it far more
pleasant.

Wait, why is there a conflict here...? There can be pedestrians _and_
bicyclists, and given the spread-out nature of Miami, surely there's a
place for bicycles. Every picture I see of the place make it look too
hot and barren for pleasant walking, though, so breezing through on a
bike sounds a lot better...
The story comments on the "excessively wide" miami streets; maybe if
the designers are in a good mood, they could even widen the sidewalks
at the same time they put in bike lanes. Make it a more human place.
If they plant some trees in the sidewalks, wow!

Maybe we will have to wait until the Second Coming of Jesus for that
to happen, but listen to this:

Along this winding, grinding path, there's a narrow sidewalk flanked
by a wall and the road --where speeds are wild-- and in the middle of
it THERE'S AN ELECTRIC POLE, leaving some 1 foot on each side not
enough for a bike to squeeze. So you must dismount, look back for
approaching traffic and take a quick jump to get to the other side.
How that pole got there I don't know, but it must be someone who
thought sidewalks are an accident in design, not a place for people to
walk. What I do is cross the street before I get to that point, and
ride on the other sidewalk AGAINST TRAFFIC, which is about the most
dangerous situation you can find yourself in.

So we keep "praying" things happen...