It's hard being God

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.

Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

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http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

....if I were God, I'd wave my hand and reset back to factory default.
No more fucked up humans this time. Just warm fuzzy kittens and
orangutans. Ah yes, piece and quite and harmony.

Yeah, we are such a heavy burden for God. Oh well, the mosquitoes are
another nightmare for him.

[Free Lunch]

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 17:45:57 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

....if I were God, I'd wave my hand and reset back to factory default.
No more fucked up humans this time. Just warm fuzzy kittens and
orangutans. Ah yes, piece and quite and harmony.

Yeah, we are such a heavy burden for God. Oh well, the mosquitoes are
another nightmare for him.

Good, because I've been dinner for about a hundred of those nasty things
this weekend.

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by Free Lunch
On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 17:45:57 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

....if I were God, I'd wave my hand and reset back to factory default.
No more fucked up humans this time. Just warm fuzzy kittens and
orangutans. Ah yes, piece and quite and harmony.

Yeah, we are such a heavy burden for God. Oh well, the mosquitoes are
another nightmare for him.

Good, because I've been dinner for about a hundred of those nasty things
this weekend.

And you ain't suffered the "no see ems"? They are invisible like God
and nagging nonetheless. If there's a Hell it would be full of them.

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Jun 17, 11:38 am, "His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

Post by Free Lunch
On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 17:45:57 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

....if I were God, I'd wave my hand and reset back to factory default.
No more fucked up humans this time. Just warm fuzzy kittens and
orangutans. Ah yes, piece and quite and harmony.

Yeah, we are such a heavy burden for God. Oh well, the mosquitoes are
another nightmare for him.

Good, because I've been dinner for about a hundred of those nasty things
this weekend.

And you ain't suffered the "no see ems"? They are invisible like God
and nagging nonetheless. If there's a Hell it would be full of them.

I have a feeling that Hell is full of mosquitoes and no see ems. Then
Heaven would be populated by butterflies and ladybugs. These two will
grow to the size of an elephant and live forever because there's no
death in Paradise.

You go out to have a picnic and no mosquitoes will nag you. All
predatory behavior would be eliminated and the mosquitoes will feed on
nectar.

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Jun 16, 5:50 pm, "His Higness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble

Yeah, we are such a heavy burden forGod. Oh well, the mosquitoes are
another nightmare for him.

Only the females. The males feed on nectar, and
are thus valuable pollinators.

That's a species that makes more sense than us. We are hunter-
gatherers and warriors. Ladies are housewives and shoppers.

Originally Adam would collect berries and chop wood and Eve would take
care of the fire to keep the mosquitoes away. That's how they started
blaming God for the mosquitoes.

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

"TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"
| That's a species that makes more sense than us. We are hunter-
| gatherers and warriors. Ladies are housewives and shoppers.
|
| Originally Adam would collect berries and chop wood and Eve would take
| care of the fire to keep the mosquitoes away. That's how they started
| blaming God for the mosquitoes.
|
It's better than that.  In the original version a family/tribe of gods
called Elohim created it all then man (Adam) and woman (Lillith) at the
same time out of the same 'clay'.  The Elohim we call 'God' was selfish
and wanted it all so he made the garden and herded all critters into it.
But Adam & Lillith were bickering over who should be on top during sex so
she refused to go and instead went off to party with other Elohim -
eventually having kids by them which is how Eve's kids found mates.  'God'
denied Adam & Eve two things: the knowledge of sin (good & evil) and
eternal life.  Satan gave them the former but 'god' kicked them out of the
garden for fear they'd also get the latter.  So who is our friend in this
story?  Leap ahead a few millenia and we find a thing called 'church' that
claims expertise in the forbidden knowledge and promises eternal life -
the things 'God' fordid. So who does this 'church' serve?  God? Satan?
You?
Go ride your bike!

It all makes sense. Notice, God gave them a choice: One mistake and
you are out.

The Catholic Church, however, lets you confess you sin and go on with
life. What the heck, you can sin as much as you want.

So in the end you would have to subscribe to ALL churches to play it
safe. Actually you may go to the gates guarded by God and tell him,
"Listen, Almighty, I didn't know the path. I knew you'd get mad if I
made a mistake so I took no decision until now. Yes, I'm convinced and
I'm ready to make up for whatever I did wrong."

And God would reply with great benevolence, "Welcome home, son, all
those Christians are serving the Devil."

Then a sexy angel would come to you and give you a thousand year
climax, which is rather insignificant in term of eternity. That's
surely the reason women go "Oh God!" at that moment.

http://vivi-art.deviantart.com/art/Sexy-Angel-205951881

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

In article
"His Higness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher"

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

ImaginebeingGodand having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots,Godgave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

Boggles the mind at how stupid thegodis. Pointbeingthat the
creature is omni-everything and 'still' made the Earth and humans.
Where's my hammer? I need to smash my thumb on the concrete.

His wonderful plans --us living naked in the Garden of Eden forever--
were spoiled by a single woman. We all know how difficult it's for a
woman to pay attention to simple advice that we men offer since we
tend to think more. We assumeGodis a man since he saw the danger and
was quick to punish Adam & Eve. My GF forgets what I tell her all the
time. And I'm absentminded myself. The Buddhists call this state of
mind "monkey mind." WhenGodgave the command "not to eat from the
Tree of Knowledge," it may have been ignored by a simple mental lapse,
sort of like a computer glitch. And we are missing the reset button.
So Humanity was made with a monkey mind and no reset button. In other
words, we would never buy a computer that worked like us.

*
Amen, brother!
You've sure got that right!
I want to have a computer that does what I WANT it to do,
And not what I TELL it to do.
earle
*

OK, let's not fantasize anymore about angels and get rational about
it...

Because of our "monkey mind" we are not as reliable or precise as a
computer, but we can take decisions that can save our lives. Imagine
someone is coming at you with a knife, you run or shoot him, right? A
computer would not know what to do in that case to save itself and so
in a thousand other applications it wouldn't know how to compute. The
key concept is 'WE THINK' THEREFORE WE ARE.

In other words Adam and Eve are our heroes. Unwilling to follow orders
they stood up to a God that acted like Hitler.

[His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:21:44 -0700 (PDT), "His Highness the Wise

Post by His Highness the Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Imagine being God and having to deal with the Devil and Humanity. It's
a job I wouldn't want for myself, even when I'd have millions praying
for me. What would I care anyway. The responsibility is mine. Every
earthquake, every Titanic that sinks would be my responsibility.
Even Adam & Eve were a pain in the back. Stupid idiots, God gave them
a simple command they couldn't follow. And worst of all, humans insist
on destroying the planet by every possible means. That's right, it
must be the job of the Devil.

Boggles the mind at how stupid the god is. Point being that the
creature is omni-everything and 'still' made the Earth and humans.
Where's my hammer? I need to smash my thumb on the concrete.

His wonderful plans --us living naked in the Garden of Eden forever--
were spoiled by a single woman. We all know how difficult it's for a
woman to pay attention to simple advice that we men offer since we
tend to think more. We assume God is a man since he saw the danger and
was quick to punish Adam & Eve. My GF forgets what I tell her all the
time. And I'm absentminded myself. The Buddhists call this state of
mind "monkey mind." When God gave the command "not to eat from the
Tree of Knowledge," it may have been ignored by a simple mental lapse,
sort of like a computer glitch. And we are missing the reset button.

So Humanity was made with a monkey mind and no reset button. In other
words, we would never buy a computer that worked like us.