"TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"
| That's a species that makes more sense than us. We are hunter-
| gatherers and warriors. Ladies are housewives and shoppers.
| Originally Adam would collect berries and chop wood and Eve would take
| care of the fire to keep the mosquitoes away. That's how they started
| blaming God for the mosquitoes.
It's better than that. In the original version a family/tribe of gods
called Elohim created it all then man (Adam) and woman (Lillith) at the
same time out of the same 'clay'. The Elohim we call 'God' was selfish
and wanted it all so he made the garden and herded all critters into it.
But Adam & Lillith were bickering over who should be on top during sex so
she refused to go and instead went off to party with other Elohim -
eventually having kids by them which is how Eve's kids found mates. 'God'
denied Adam & Eve two things: the knowledge of sin (good & evil) and
eternal life. Satan gave them the former but 'god' kicked them out of the
garden for fear they'd also get the latter. So who is our friend in this
story? Leap ahead a few millenia and we find a thing called 'church' that
claims expertise in the forbidden knowledge and promises eternal life -
the things 'God' fordid. So who does this 'church' serve? God? Satan?
Go ride your bike!
It all makes sense. Notice, God gave them a choice: One mistake and
you are out.
The Catholic Church, however, lets you confess you sin and go on with
life. What the heck, you can sin as much as you want.
So in the end you would have to subscribe to ALL churches to play it
safe. Actually you may go to the gates guarded by God and tell him,
"Listen, Almighty, I didn't know the path. I knew you'd get mad if I
made a mistake so I took no decision until now. Yes, I'm convinced and
I'm ready to make up for whatever I did wrong."
And God would reply with great benevolence, "Welcome home, son, all
those Christians are serving the Devil."
Then a sexy angel would come to you and give you a thousand year
climax, which is rather insignificant in term of eternity. That's
surely the reason women go "Oh God!" at that moment.